Thursday, July 24, 2008

I am not a gardener, but I talk about it a lot. 
Neighbors are very generous with things that they no longer want.
The combining of these two notions left me with packets of seeds that people had sitting around their homes for years. I felt like it was a community obligation to make these seeds work, but I wasn't so sure. I am lazy. There really is no trick to gardens, it just takes time and or money. 
I have a vacant lot next door to  me in which I turned the soil for about ten minutes and randomly pushed seeds around. Many appeared. Watermelon , cantalope, Squash, Zucinni, carrots, onions, radishes. Its like making people. Random people in a little city. That I made and control. The Mayor. Then I eat the inhabitants and destroy its structures . I'm Godzilla, but not as loud. Its a beautiful, quiet, new age annihilation.   

Saturday, July 12, 2008

I'm pullin' snails off agapanthus again (a plant). I've been known to ask the kids up the street to do this for me, but they seem to have something better to do. Losers. I'm not even sure why one needs to do this, but I do it anyway. They don't appear to do anything to the agapanthus, but its obviously a front of some kind because anything else soft and vulnerable in the yard is stripped and eaten ragged like the shirts on a some of those dudes at Golds Gym. But the snails don't hang out on the plants they eat. smart. And they have the perfect poker face. Which is absolutely no face. They assume no responsibility and I've never caught them in the act. I love snails and I try not to kill them, but I do it anyway.
Whatever that means. I love you, but I'm killing you. What the fuck is that? Oh well, it happens.
Oh well? What the fuck is that? Oh well. Oh well basically means fuck you I'm doing it anyway.
I  love snails. Fuck you, I love you, I'm killing you. Hmmm. Thats what I mean, isn't it? How come no ones out there saving the snails? Hmmmm.  Thank goodness for the afterlife.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I decided not to walk the dogs today. I had an early morning appointment and when I got back simply went about my day. Since these girls(dogs) consumed a pile of cookies I had set out the night before I felt it was OK to forgo the walk. Bitches.